As the child of a teacher, I've always prided myself in being somewhat of a nerd. Homework is done on time, tests were never failed, and anything less than your best was never accepted.
Even when I moved away from home and went to college, I was that nerdy kid who did all the assigned reading and rarely skipped class. The picture of disappointed parents would always pop in my head if I thought about playing hooky. In my head they would say, "We are paying for you to become educated, Tamsen, not socialized." The line would never fail to get me in class.
Things didn't really change until recently. It was the weekend of Fall Conference, InterVarsity's first (and big) conference of the year. I was excited to go but also slightly overwhelmed at the amount of reading that was due the following Monday. Being the ever diligent student, I brought the 180 page linguistics book with me and had full intentions on reading the entire thing.
Friday night had come and gone, as well as the majority of Saturday. We had an hour before dinner, to be followed with our night session, free time, then bed. I looked at my reading. Only 137 pages to go.
My mind kicked into panic mode. I became moody and worried. For some reason I felt slightly nauseous at the thought of how much I still had to do.
The dinner bell rang and we all filed inside. The meal continued and we put our trays away. Twenty minutes until we had to go to the session, and I was trying to be a good student and do my reading in the cafe area. My friend Robbie came up to me and asked if I was doing the reading for the class we had together on Mondays. "Yes," I said, exasperated. "There is so much to do and I just don't want to!"
He looks at me and says, "You are actually going to d it?"
I think to myself, "Of COURSE I'm going to do it!!! Isn't that what I'm at college for?" Thankfully my tongue was not as quick as my thoughts and I merely sighed.
"You're such a good student, Tam," he says to me. Too bad I'm still stressed.
I continue to think about his words, his disbelief in my desire to do my homework. Why should it surprise him that I would be diligent to my studies? Why was it bothering me this much?
I finally understood. I was being a Martha when the LORD desired for my heart to be like that of a Mary. Luke recounts the story in the 10th chapter of his Gospel, with Jesus proclaiming, "Martha, Martha, you are anxious and trouble about many things; one thing is needful. Mary has chosen the good portion, which shall not be taken from her" (Luke 10:41).
Mary had chosen the better. She had opted out of busying herself with what was expected of her by her sister Martha and sat at the feet of Christ, ready to hear His every word. In doing my reading and being faithful to my studies, I was not sinning. I do not think that Martha was sinning when she was serving and hosting Christ and the disciples. And yet in her seemingly disobedient act, Mary was the one who was praised. She chose to sit and listen, she was allowing her heart to be changed and molded by the teachings of Jesus. How much better!
At the next opportunity, I promptly closed my book and put it in my backpack for the remainder of the weekend. I was ready to hear from the LORD.
*Author's note: Mom and Dad, don't worry, I'm still doing my reading. I promise I won't fail out of my classes! :D
2 comments:
Tam- I love your blogs. You are wonderful :)
Yes, yes, there is much to learn from Mary & Martha. But sometimes I find myself using the "don't be a Martha" excuse to cover up my own procrastination. There does come a point when we have to give up something for the sake of being still at Jesus' feet. It's a fine line, sister. Just be cautious to evaluate your own faithfulness and motives. :) Love you!
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