Off-Topic Classes and Traditional Marriage Vows

My graduate class gets sidetracked fairly often on various subjects.  Our professor emigrated from China to get his Ph.D., we have two female students from Saudi Arabia, one student whose family emigrated from Russia, and another from Vietnam.  The rest of the class is just normal home-grown kids.  One of the recent tangents we went off on was that of dating and marriage in various cultures. Our professor stated that he knew his wife for years before getting married to her.  We learned (according to our Vietnamese classmate) that the average marrying age for a young woman in Korea is between 27-30, and that typically, they date for about 7 years before tying the knot.

A few students spoke up about how they think the divorce rate is so high because people are now getting married in their 20's (heaven forbid) after barely knowing their spouse for a year (that makes it the second strike for me).  As many of my classmates thought something like this was crazy, I decided to stay silent and not open  a porthole into my life.

Part of me regrets not doing that.

In a recent post on Christianity Today's Hermenutics blog, Catherine Parks wrote a glorious piece titled, "What Happened to Wedding Vows?"  As she reviews the traditional vows and compares them to the current trending ones (she uses the example of  once hearing "I will always peel your clementines for you,"), she finds them hollow and out of place.  I'll always peel your clementines?  How gracious. Thank you sosososoooooo much.

Is it possible really, to bind yourself to someone for richer or poorer, for sickness or health?  God forbid that something terrible happen to Justin, but I do believe that if something did happen, I would walk through that with him.    Not by my own will, but by the power of the Holy Spirit.  Catherine makes a seemingly obvious statement, but I think it has been overlooked by too many people:

"We learn how to make and keep vows by looking at God."

What I chose to avoid was a conflict with my classmates.  I wanted the easy way out, not having to bring God into the situation.  Certainly the new trend of marriage vows isn't a cause of the divorce rate, it's simply that we foolish humans only want the richer and health parts of the vows, not the we-aren't-sure-if-we'll-make-rent-or-eat-next-week or the slow walk hand in hand with cancer and loss.  I know I don't want those.  Nothing in me desires those things.

But at the same time, what I want more than anything in my marriage, is faithfulness.  Justin and I chose to say traditional vows because they exemplify faithfulness--a promise we plan to hold on to until one or the other returns to Jesus.  It is one that our parents have said, our grandparents have said, so on and so forth.  We layered our promise upon the promises of our families before us.  And even before that, it was a promise of a good God to His wickedly rebellious people.  He is faithful, and that is the standard that we choose to compare our marriage to.

So...how do I explain that to a class that was already off-topic?

(Photo Credit:  Benjamin Haley of Avocado Images)

Hot Mess Thursday, and a Shout-Out to My Husband

**Author's Note:  This post is originally an email sent to her sister in the Peace Corps, Jamaica.

Hello, and thank you for tuning into this week's edition of Hot Mess Thursday.

The day started off with a bit of a slow start.  Tamsen hit the snooze button three times, resulting a get-out-of-bed time of 6:18 AM; which was not necessarily [good] due to the 3.5 inches of beautiful, powdery snow that had fallen overnight.

She gets out of bed and heads into the kitchen, deciding to make a quicker cup of tea instead of the normal cup of coffee.  This turns out to be a small disaster later, as she probably could have used the caffeine.

Justin kindly offers to sweep the snow off of her car before she leaves for work, and as he is doing so, she has a fleeting thought that she should ask him to take his car for the day, since it handles better in the snow.  Nope, you've got this, she thinks.  Sherman will be fine.

She was wrong.  Oh, so very wrong.

The drive out of the parking lot was fine.  She took the first exit instead of the second, because there is immediate hill to drive.  But, Tamsen was a fool and forgot about the hill that she would need to drive up after she took the flatter driveway.

Tires spin.  Snow flies.  Roads are unplowed.  Navigating roads with a real-wheel drive is torturous.  Tamsen presses the gas pedal down, but to no avail.  The engine is revving, but the tires don't move.  People behind her get annoyed.  One rude man even dares to honk at her, not noting her distress.  She tries to pull to the side of the road in front of her apartment complex, only to have her tires spin even more.

She's halfway there, and not going any further.  She's not blocking traffic anymore, but the cars that pass by her seem confused.  She calls Justin and tells him of her peril.  He jumps to the rescue, guides her driving, and gives Sherman a great big push that carries her over the hill.  Victory!

Until we reach the stoplight.  A left turn ahead. More unplowed roads await her.  Anxiety rises.  Shoulders tense.  Tamsen goes in for the turn, slowly and mindfully, only to have a small fishtail after she pulls out of the turn.  Okay Tamsen, you can do this, she says to herself.  But she knows that she's going crazy.

A second stoplight is approaching, and the light turns yellow.  She stops, and when the light turns green again, she carefully applies the gas, just like Justin instructed (and experience has taught her).  Another fishtail.  This one breaks her, and tears begin to fall.

Justin calls to congratulate her on making it up the hill, only to hear tears through the phone.  What's wrong?! he asks.  She cries her unwillingness to drive in such conditions.  Even major roads have not been plowed, not just the one their apartment is on.

For a second time, Justin jumps to the rescue.  Pull over somewhere, and I'll bring you my car.  You can drive that to work.  You know it handles so much better in the snow. 

Relief.

She pulls into the snowy parking lot of Taco Bell on Broadway & Powers. Justin arrives, gives her a strong hug and a set of car keys.  Remember your parking pass for your building! he says.  Yes, yes, yes.

She makes it slowly to work, driving in third gear the whole way.  Slow, but safe. 

She'll take light rail tomorrow.

In an up-close and personal interview with Tamsen later that morning, she confessed to us here at Hot Mess Thursday, "I was thinking about how much I just wanted to dump Sherman on the side of the road somewhere.  Never again will I judge the owner of an abandoned car.  Amen."

*********************

Amen indeed, sister.  And Praise Jesus for a wonderful husband who has the day off.  And be thankful that your car is front wheel drive (I checked for you, you're welcome).

Love, Tamsen

PS--and I'm totally posting this story to my blog.  Because it's kind of pathetically funny and transparent.

Options for All Godly People, Single or Married Alike

I don't normally pick fights with one of the country's leading pastors, but I will today.

A few weeks ago, a girl I know from college posted a link to an article written by Mark Driscoll on her Facebook:  6 Options for Godly Single Women Wanting to Marry.  Driscoll was inspired to write the piece after he spoke with a single woman at an event where he was teaching.  He goes on to write that he thinks about this issue often, as he has daughters and also wants to care for the women of his church.  Great intentions.  He is the first to state that he is by no means an expert on these issues, and for that I (and others I suppose) am thankful for.

Driscoll's six reasons are as follows:

• Sin.  (Party, sleep around, cohabiting with a boyfriend, etc.).
• Surrender.  (Wallow in self-pity, give up on ever getting married, and become the cat lady you were destined to be).
• Settle.  (Similar to the sin option, but more like marrying/dating someone who doesn't love Jesus).
• Suffer.  (A direct quote from this paragraph:  "You can let your singleness be a club for Satan to beat you with over, and over, and over, and over...").
• Strive.  (The boy-crazed adolescent in a grown-up woman's body.  The she-wolf in the closet).
• Solace.  (A glimmer of hope).

Followed by six reactions:

• Sin.  Wow.  I wasn't aware that sinning was only reserved for single women.  People in godly marriages, godly relationships, and godly singleness all sin, and a single person sinning is no different in God's eyes than a husband or wife sinning.  I am married to a wonderful man, and we both do our best to keep our focus on Jesus.  But I'm still mean to my husband sometimes. I am still selfish and want my own way.  I still have a desire for control instead of equality.  I am sorry to report that this option does not disappear once you are married.
• Surrender.  What a depressing choice.  No thank you, please.
• Settle.  Settling in the sense that Driscoll describes it would be considered sin, no?  
• Suffer.  Another depressing choice.  Another thing that isn't reserved for single women.  Single men can also choose to suffer in their singleness.  As can wives and husbands choose to suffer in marriage.
• Strive.  In this sense, also known as idolatry.  We can strive after the perfect potential spouse, yes.  We can also strive after money.  The perfect job.  The perfect house.  Perfectionism itself.  All idols.  All things that a lot of people do.  Still sin.
• Solace.  Driscoll writes, "You can take comfort in God's love for you and that Jesus is the Man in your life who sympathizes with your singleness."  Well, that sounds a lot like making Jesus your temporary boyfriend.  Which is no good (Christianity Today has a great blog post about that, which you can read here).  

I would like to offer some alternatives for all single people.  These options are even available for the married folk, too.  

Options for All Godly People, Single or Married Alike

• Learn to recognize our sin and repent.  As we have discovered that sinning is a consistent pattern for all people, we need to first and foremost seek after Jesus.  His words to us are to repent of our sins, to go and sin no more (Matthew 4:17, John 8:11).    If we are to be in right communion with Him, we must take this up.
• Find a good counselor.  Marriage won't solve any problems.  I had a coworker who used to say, "You take you with you wherever you go."  Yes.  We take ourselves, our talents, our attitudes, our issues, and our baggage wherever we go.  The best time to start working on personal issues is always today, and a counselor who helps you with these things is always a good investment.
• Volunteer and serve.  I have a friend who moved to Denver right around the same time I did.  She has made it a priority to serve the community.  Over the summer, she took a job before starting grad school that would allow her to have every Friday off of work so that she could use it to volunteer with a  day camp for at-risk youth.  What a great example of someone who loves her neighbor as herself. 
• Stay in community.  This is self-explanatory.  Community is good.  Doing life together is good.  It's a hallmark of Acts 2, and a way to serve others and follow Jesus.  
• Perfect the art (and spiritual gift) of hospitality.  This may seem a little strange, but having an open home is a way to serve the Lord (Romans 12:13).  Creating an environment that is peaceful, welcoming, and nurturing is not always an easy task.  It's hard work to clean and de-clutter your home to have guests.  It's also hard work to clean up after you have guests.  But it is a rewarding one.
• Follow Jesus.  As my husband Justin says, "Joy is not dependent on circumstances."  Joy is dependent on Jesus, not on a marital status.  Joy is looking past circumstance and finding our deepest longing and our most valuable treasure in who Jesus is and what He has done for us.  

"Don't look at yourself!  Take your temperature when you are sick.  Otherwise look at God and others.  They're much more interesting."  - Peter Kreeft

On a lighter note, this  may (or may not) be a more helpful article on talking to single people.

Today's Email to My Sister in the Peace Corps

I sent my sister Kate a very silly email yesterday titled, "Today at Lunch, I Successfully Flung a Garbanzo Bean" (Which is true, by the way).

She responded this morning with this:

Please keep sending me these types of emails!  

Can do, dear sis.  The following is what I sent her:

Well, on today's edition of Lunchtimes with Tamsen, there isn't anything necessarily funny, but it has some good news in it...

Justin got the job!!

Fo' reals.  Future marriage advice to you is:  don't let your husband work nights.  Unless it's absolutely necessary (in which case, ours was).

And more exciting news--they are paying him almost fifty cents more an hour than what he was told at the interview.  Again,

Today I spent a total of two hours and forty five minutes ON HOLD with the social security office.  And what was it to do?  Oh, just schedule a meeting.  Literally took less than five minutes.  I've decided that they are worse than the DMV.  Not only are they obviously understaffed, but those people are only open from 9AM to 3PM.  Oh, and they take an hour lunch break.  Do these people even work?  This is how I'm feeling about them at the moment:  

Today is also the first real snow of the season.  Not that slushy stuff you guys experienced while you were here for the wedding, but real, fluffy, beautiful, stick-to-the-ground-been-snowing-all-day stuff.  The weather liars (ahem, forecasters) told a wild tale of "winter storm warnings" and "heavy snow overnight" and "blah blah blah."  So I got scared/nervous/lazy about driving in the snow and decided that I was going to ride the light rail to work (AKA going on an adventure!).  My alarm goes off at 5:45 AM, then another off at 6:40 that tells me I need to get my pretty little butt out of the house and to the light rail station for the 7:07 D Line.  Well, what really happened at 6:40 was me putting the leash on Pavlov.  He took a very quick whiz trip outside, and then I started walking to the station.  I ride either the C Line or the D Line up to the Broadway station, then swap to the F Line, which runs right along I-25.  I had fun gloating as we zipped past the super stressed out drivers who were going 12 miles per hour in a 65 zone.  But then they were probably gloating later as they passed me (at said prompt 12 mph) as I walked my cold little self .8 miles to work.  Whatever.  I didn't slide on (or off!) the road.  Priorities, I suppose.

Well, I think that is about all the wittiness I can afford right now...it's 3:11 and I want a snack.  

Love you!
Tams

Things I've Learned While Being Engaged

Just a few thoughts:

• Just after it happens, some people won't even say hi to you.  They just grab for your left hand and stare.  This will become semi-normal.
• You will get asked more about wedding planning than anything else.
• "Do you have a date yet?" will become the most annoying question received within the first month of engagement.
• You probably should learn more about diamonds, because you will get asked about clarity, weight, color, cut grades, etc.  Your fiance presumably did when he went shopping, and "it's pretty and sparkly" won't cut it.
• Renting linens will amount to highway robbery.  We got quotes as high as $100 an hour.  For tablecloths, people.  It literally is cheaper to buy them.  And you can resell them on Craigslist and possibly get all your money back. 
• Guest lists need to be attacked first and foremost, just after the budget.  People may try to invite themselves to your nuptials and after party, and this creates a very awkward situation if you didn't plan on having them.  Learn to say no gracefully.
• You will spend approximately 12 years worth of time the week after getting engaged on the phone talking to anyone you have ever met.  Because they want to know. every. single. little. detail.  Even if they didn't know you were dating someone.
• If you dated for only a short period of time, you need to come up with some good responses for the "Wow!  That's fast!" remarks.  Yes, yes it was.  Thankyouverymuch.
• The best advice I got was from my friend Bethany.  She said, "Tamsen, wedding planning will be as stressful as you let it be."  Note taken. (And it is very true.)
• While registering for gifts, the guy really wants to scan everything with the scanner thing.  It's fun to watch.  
• People will immediately start asking about when you will pop out babies.
• On the baby note, you may start researching birth control options like mad, only to find out that there are waaaay more morale issues to it that you originally thought. And hormones can be a little freaky.
• You may find an exorbitant amount of satisfaction in making spreadsheets.  And color-coding them.
• It's easy to let planning rule every date night or hangout that you have with your wonderful fiance. It's good to not let this happen, and have a date be a date be a date.  You can plan at another time.
• Stop looking at Pinterest.  Seriously.  There are way too many ideas out there that will make you go crazy and blow up your budget.
• It's best to enjoy the process instead of being stressed.  If things get stressful, look at your to-do list and start delegating.  People most likely will enjoy (or even offer) to help out.

Receiving Precisely What I Needed

Sometimes guidance can come to you in the strangest of forms.  Today I received a spiritual butt-kicking from a window decal on a Jeep.  Before you try to commit me to an institution, please let me explain.

The morning got off just fine, but by 12:30 I had a mini meltdown.  I had my normal morning routine of waking up, walking the dog, reading a Psalm, eating, etc.  As I drove my way to work I judgmentally decided that the overweight early 20's man in the car behind me looked real dumb for smoking a cigarette and keeping his mouth wide open between puffs.  Doesn't his tongue dry out? I thought. Does he really know what he looks like right now?  Nice move, Tamsen.

I get to work.  Things are normal to fine, until just before lunchtime.  A couple who are clients of ours walked in to drop off a check.  They didn't want to bother the boss-man by saying hello to him, so after about a minute of small chat, they left.  My boss comes out of his office (he was in a meeting with another of our co-workers) and asks where they were.  He had heard them from down the hall and wanted to get together with them over lunch.  As they had already stepped out of the office and into the elevator, we had to call them and have them come back up.  He was slightly annoyed at me.  I was being a ninny and was annoyed at him for being annoyed at me.  Again, nice move.

So once they are wrangled back up to talk to him for what I think is going to be 5 minutes, they start making lunch plans.  "But you have the conference call you need to be on at noon," I protested, getting even more annoyed since he had specifically requested to be on this call.  "Call Kelly and have her just do it by herself."  I had another protest:  "But I'm on hold with social security trying to get that conference call you requested!"  "Hang up and call Kelly.  You will be on hold for 10 years with them."  A true statement, but I was still annoyed.

They go on their merry way, and as they walk out the door I think of the delicious sandwiches or pasta that they will be eating, while all I have to eat is a spinach salad with leftover BBQ chicken and avocado.  Poor me.  Can't you just hear the sad violin playing in the background?  Anyway, I go onto getting the check the clients brought ready to deposit.  There is a special form that needs to be filled out, and I am annoyed that I can't find it online.  After I do, I am annoyed that it didn't print they way it needed to.  On my way out the door to the bank, I grab my lunch and lock the door.  I take a quick look at the time (12:17 PM), and then get annoyed again.  My co-worker had forgotten her keys and I absolutely needed to be back from lunch and the bank by 1 PM so I could let her back in.  I was now annoyed at her!

Are you seeing the trend here?

Me, me, me, me, me, me, ME!

Hello, my name is Tamsen Rebecca Wright and I am a selfish little brat. Thankyouverymuch.

As soon as I got in the car, I started to drive and cry simultaneously.  That's right.  I cried.  Threw a fit.  Whatever you want to call it.  I cried because I was so annoyed at everyone I work with and also annoyed at myself for being so annoyed.  While still crying, I pull up behind a Jeep at a stoplight.  And this is what they have as a window decal:

(Photo credit here)

After I looked at it, I realized what a selfish twerp I was being.  It's referencing John the Baptist's words in John 3:30, where JTB tells his disciples that HE (Jesus) must increase, and that he (John) must decrease.  

Oh, sweet Jesus, forgive me.

And now I start crying harder for a different reason; because I realized my own natural inclination to selfishness and the inability to do anything except think of myself.  When I am self-focused, I forget the command to love my neighbor (or boss or co-worker) as myself.  When I am self-focused, I am robbing myself of the opportunity to serve.  When I am self-focused, I forget that Jesus is even there, much less that he should increase.

Lord, let it not be so.  Increase in me so that my natural sinful tendencies may decrease.  Amen and amen.

Busy Busy Busy

My word, where did May go?

I suppose it flew by as the following things happened:

Alison and I helped our friends the Custers move into their new home.  We originally planned on actually shoving around boxes and trying not to throw out our backs, but when we started on the road and called Fiona, she said that what they really needed was someone to watch the girls.  Not a problem!  

Here is the hardest working mover of the day--little, sweet Megan.

Olivia, their 3.5 year old kept on introducing herself to people whose names she couldn't remember.  When took Alison and I downstairs to show us her new room (painted pink and green, of course!), she finally came across some people she actually knew.  Upon seeing them, she knew she had an opportunity to introduce us and act like she knew what was going on.  But the results were not as she expected; instead of handshakes and cordiality, she caused an uproar of laughter.  "These are my granddaughters, Tamsen and Alison!"

  Bahahahaaaa!  

My sister visited!  We started it out with lunch at my new favorite spot in downtown Littleton, The Fat Frog Cafe.  We ordered sandwiches and a S'mores crepe.  The crepe arrived midway through our sandwiches, and we literally stopped eating lunch to devour it.  Ohsogood.

We also went to the thrift store because I had 50% off coupons (call me a tightwad and laugh, and I will go along saving money using coupons at thrift stores.  Also I will laugh along with you because it is true).  While we are there, she finds this little gem:

Haven't seen a hair crimper since the early 90's?  Me neither.  She dubbed this the "best worst investment ever."  I think I would have to agree. All she needs is a neon mini skirt and an off-the-shoulder sweatshirt.

The band broke up.  And by that I mean the Skrabecs and I don't live together anymore.  With Amber also being in seminary now (yay!), they got offered a spot in the basement of a pastor's home.  And for all my California people, this isn't some creepy dirt-floor hole in the ground, from what I hear this thing is niiiiiiice.  Matt confessed the other day that they like to lay on the floor because the carpet is so wonderful.  

I ended up moving out a few weeks before them, because Justin and I were going to California and would be out of state when the lease was up.  So I got a darling little one bedroom apartment in downtown Littleton (just a 10 minute walk from the Fat Frog), complete with lots of sunny windows, a working air conditioning, a hall closet large enough to fit a third-world family, and hardwood floors.  Pavlov is getting more accustomed to the hardwood floors after skidding all over the place.  The first couple of days there he would only stay in my bedroom, where the carpet was secure enough for his little tootsies.

I'm so glad it doesn't look like this anymore.  But take cute of my fabulous red couch--only $50 off of Craigslist!

The day I signed my lease, Justin and I went to a concert of one of my favorite artists, Anais Mitchell.  So fabulous.  She also was 7 months pregnant at the time and looked super cute playing the guitar as it stuck out over her belly.  She and some other dude were opening for a show and played mostly songs from their new album together, which is only old Scottish and English folk ballads.  During the intermission, we got to meet her!  I was so starstruck all I could say was my name and that I had been listening to Hadestwon on repeat the last four years. She signed my vinyl copy of the album that Justin had sneakily acquired for me, and as we sat there for a few minutes, she asked about my name.  I gave her the abbreviated version of the story, and after I finished, she said, "Wow.  What a beautiful story.  As you can tell, I'm pregnant.  And my husband and I aren't finding out the gender of our baby until it comes.  But we are keeping our ears out for unique names.  I'll have to remember yours!"

Anais, pleasepleaseplease name your child after me. Thanks.

I rescued a lost dog!  Third one that I've rescued in the past year.  *toots own horn here*

  

Meet Sophie.  She ended up living across the street.

She wasn't lost for long, though.  Her owners came and picked her up about 45 minutes after I got her.  But she sure did give poor Pavlov a fright--she was large and happy and intimidating.  It never would have worked out anyway.

We went to California!  We spent two days with my family, got to see friends in Sacramento, went to a wedding, then drove up to Sonoma County to spend a few days in Cotati with my old house. So wonderful!

And of course we went to Leatherby's with the family.

And Acre Coffee with Heather.

Oh, and we got engaged.

As my friend James says in the most loving way, "Oh, you dirty dog."

We drove out to Bodega Bay and had dinner on the harbor.  Justin learned a lot about living by the ocean while on this little adventure--that on the Sonoma Coast, you aren't guaranteed sunsets because the fog and marine layer comes in around 6PM, and also that high tide can ruin your beach plans.  After dinner we went to the beach where he was planning on proposing, but there was no beach left!  Onto Plan B, a beach just a few miles south.  Much more sand on that one.  It was there, at Salmon Creek beach on June 3rd, that he dropped to his knee with overcast skies and the sound of the waves crashing in the background, and asked me to marry him. "Of course!"  I said.  

Team Sear coming October 2013.

We flew back to Colorado the next day, and that evening my dear, dear friends Danielle and Brian came to visit.  We went to the New Belgium Brewery in Fort Collins, bummed around old town for a bit, and had other shenanigans.  It was so fun to have them!  

Photo courtesy of  Danielle's Facebook.  :)

So, I suppose that is where May (and part of June) went.  It passed by busily, happily, and packed full of fun and adventure.

God and Mammon

As someone who has been putting her English Education degree to great use by working in the finance industry,  sometime I forget that it's rude to ask people personal questions about money.

What is your income?  How much debt do you have?  Do you save a percentage of your salary each month?  What does your budget (or non-budget) look like?  How much money did you spend on that?  Is that a wise financial decision?

Whoops. 

Pair that with being the kid of a nurse, and nobody will want to have me over for dinner.  I also don't know where to stop with medical questions (bowel movements, family health history, pain, etc.).

I come from a fairly thrifty middle class family, mostly attributed to my three grandparents who lived through the Great Depression and my remaining grandparent (lovely Oma) who survived the horrors and aftermath of WWII.  Money was rarely abundant for them in the earlier days of their marriages. My parents naturally inherited a thrifty lifestyle, and it also has been passed to my sisters and me. So working for a financial investor who has clients with almost more money than God, it's been an interesting shift.

I've seen how money can be hoarded.  I've seen how families can be financially ruined by children who choose the path of alcoholism and substance abuse.  I've seen a very generous boss invest company money into employees and clients.  I've heard rich people (I'm talking legitimate millionaires here) complain that they are poor, and how they are upset that the government is trying to cap retirement accounts at $3 million (read the article here if you have that much money and are upset about it too).  As if three million dollars weren't enough--what are these people doing in retirement--buying yachts?! What else do people do with it? 

Oooooh, sweet Jesus, forgive me.

As all these things are being observed, I continue to turn to what Scriptures say about money:

• That money is neither good nor bad, but the love of money is.  1 Timothy 6:10
• That money is not mine or yours, but God's.  We merely are stewards of it.  Matthew 25:14-30
• That not all giving is equal.  Mark 12:41-44
• That the way we steward money shows what we really care about.  Matthew 6:19-24  

So far this month, I have cared about sushi with Justin, a magic bullet blender, a new pair of shorts, and concert tickets. Oh, and giving.  Yes, giving.  Has it become an afterthought or is it ever-present like the widow who gives her two mites?  Am I spending my money, or am I spending God's money?  Am I working to have money, or am I working to give it?

Ultimately, I think money (and spending money) displays our priorities.  We will spend (or save) the disposable income that we have on what we really care about.  Do we spend it to be able to stuff more junk in our closets, so that our nails can always be painted, so that our children will know the piano, French, and how to properly lay their forks when they are finished eating, or do we spend it by generously giving to the church and other organizations that provide for people's needs?  


I find that there are always ways for me to shift my financial priorities.  It's also much better for me to give right after I get paid.  That way I won't spend the money that I meant to give. 

"When I have money, I get rid of it quickly, lest it find a way into my heart."  John Wesley

Recently...

Whenever someone uses the term recently, I am always reminded of the scene from Snow White & the Seven Dwarves where the new (neat-freak) girl on the block asks all her new little boyfriends when the last time they had washed up was.  As they sheepishly look around at one another, one of them pipes up, "Recently!"  Yeah right!, I imagine Snow White thinking to herself.  She sends them out to the wash tub anyway.

Photo credits here.

Anywhoo, here are some of the things that I have been up to recently.  **And yes, washing my hands is included in that list of things.

• My parents came to visit!!  SUPER fun.  They had an action-filled adventure packed with meeting the boyfriend, making me meatloaf, meeting my co-workers and other friends, going to Garden of the Gods (which my mother referred to as "those big rocks"), meeting up with my dad's cousin who he had not seen in 10+ years, heading up to crazy Boulder for the Celestial Seasonings Tea Factory tour, etc.  We also went to the Denver Museum of Nature & Science, which my dad said had the best dinosaur exhibit that he had ever seen.  High praise indeed!   I had asked them to send me their pictures from the trip for blogging and other purposes, and the only ones they ended up sending me (on the first round) were ones with me in them.  I did want the other ones, I promise! 

3/4ths of the sweet Custer Family--Olivia (with me), Fiona, & Scott.  Don't worry, baby Megan is sleeping safely in her baby carrier behind us.

• I have been making LOTS of banana bread.  And eating lots of banana bread.  This last week, I didn't have any eggs because I had used them all making a vanilla bean custard or something like that. Oh gosh it was delicious.  Carrying on.  Banana bread.  No eggs.  Yes.  So I tried to do an egg substitute of oil, baking soda, and water...apparently that doesn't work at an altitude of 5,000 ft.  It was goopy and not baked well.  I ended up throwing it out, and then the next day, Amber made some after a trip to the store.  So our banana bread supply was not affected in the atrocity.  PTL.   

• A few oddities:  In the past couple of weeks, I have been realizing how small my little pup really is. He's a pipsqueak!  Also, I have been dialing 9-1 before almost all new numbers I dial on my cell phone--clearly I call a lot of people at work, as that is the dial out code.  So much for leaving work at work. And on the subject of work, I have also forgotten my lunch at home three times within the past week and a half.  Gracious.

Ugh.   Overwhelming cuteness right there.    

• Enjoying nice weather with a picnic on a Sunday after church...and then two days later going into blizzard mode. Not joking!  Sunday was a balmy 68 degrees with a little wind and some clouds, and then Monday night the snow rolled in.  I'm glad I didn't take off my (second) down comforter yet!

• I've been listening to The Wailin' Jennys on repeat for the last few days.  This album in particular.  If you like folksy girls who have awesome and beautiful harmonies who don't sing about lame stuff, they are a band for you.
  
  Photo credits here.
  
  
• Being SUPER convicted at church.  This past Sunday, one of our pastors, Dan, was speaking on Acts 1:8.

But you will recieve power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.

 He spoke on how it is important to look at the passage with the eyes of the disciples--when they heard Jesus say the geographic locations, perhaps they did not see cities, but faces.  In Jerusalem, they saw faces of the angry mob who had Jesus arrested, beat, and crucified.  In Judea, they saw the faces of persecutors.  In Samaria, they saw the faces of half-breeds whom often were despised by the Jewish community at the time.  

Why was Jesus sending them to those places?

Ultimately, because He loves those faces.  He loves those people.  And He wants us to share that love with them.  He wants them to have new life.  He wants us, his followers, to love those faces and people as well.  I realized after church that I have believe the lie that my friend's and co-worker's hearts are too hard for the love of Jesus to handle.  Ummm, what?  Where did that come from?  Earth to Tamsen--if Jesus can raise from the dead, He certainly can handle a stony heart.  Does he not promise that to the Israelites in Ezekiel 36:26?

And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your chest and give you a heart of flesh.

Music, My Bad Ideas, a New Pope, and Simplicity

First off, I want to be a great friend and share a little something with y’all.  NoiseTrade.com has the entire discography of a fantastic musician and another fantastic band up on their website.  You can (legally!) download both for freeeeeeeee (I’m thinking of Adam Sandler in Bedtime Stories here—a nod to you, Brian and Danielle).  Josh Garrels and Page CXVI are really just a bunch of musical geniuses who are sending us their music like manna for our ears.  Hope you enjoy them!

Yesterday while driving home, I thought I had a really great idea to pass the time while sitting in a little bit of traffic.  I thought it would be a good use of my time to bust out my nail file and go to town on my far too long nails.  Then I immediately had a mental image of me doing so while not paying attention and careening into the bumper of the car in front of me.  That would be a dumb idea, Tamsen.  Did you have any dumb ideas this week you want to share?

And even though I am not Catholic, here are some thoughts on the new pope:  Yay for the first non-European pope in almost 1,000 years!  Also the first Jesuit, a man who takes his vow of poverty seriously (he refused to use the appointed limo he had access to while a Cardinal in Buenos Aires.  He instead took the bus or walked everywhere), and the first Francis.  I think I may like him a LOT. 

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

My sister Kate sent me a wonderful quote the other day.

"Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful."  William Morris

Doesn't that make you want to go and clean out all the crap you have in your closet, basement, and garage?  I did a little cleaning myself this week.  Three purses, a t-shirt, and a pair of shoes went into the Goodwill pile.  Really?  I had no idea I had three extra purses lyng around!