The Tongue

There are three things that I envision the tongue to be like:


a fruit tree,


a ship,


and a sword.

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat of its fruit" (Proverbs 18:21). Those who love it will eat of its fruit. I sometimes forget how much weight I put into my words. With this tongue of mine, I give blessings and promises. And with it I spout lies and gossip. When I think about fruit, I think about my parent's backyard. My dad has planted on their little half acre over 30 fruit trees in close proximity (so they do not get tall enough so he needs a ladder to reach the top). One of the few trees that remains from the previous owners is a peach tree. The summer we moved into the house, it produced peaches the size of softballs by the hundreds. They were big, they were juicy, they were sweet. Such a pleasant offering. But this past summer, the opposite happened. The old gnarled tree got sick. We do not know how or when. We only found out when the peaches came. Slightly larger than the size of a golf ball, they too came by the hundreds. Somewhat disappointed by their small size, I took one off the branches in hopes that it would have enough flesh on it to satisfy. When I brought it into the kitchen to cut it open, I saw that it was riddled with brown spots. Upon opening it, my knife went straight through the pit, finding it rotten to the core.
Are my words like the peaches from the first summer? Do they satisfy and sustain? Or are my words like the sick peaches, ready to bring ill upon those who "eat of them?"
The tongue is like a ship. "...though they are so great and driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very strong rudder wherever the pilot directs" (James 3:4). Such a small part directs the whole of me. With this tongue of mine, I can direct to do good or to do evil, to build up or destroy.
The tongue is like a double edged sword. "There is one whose rash words are like the sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing" (Proverbs 12:18). "Blows that wound cleanse away evil; strokes make clean the innermost parts" (Proverbs 20:30). A sword thrust can only puncture, and punctures do no good to a person. A stroke of a sword is able to scoop out evil, keeping the healthy parts of the body.
Let your words be fruitful and satisfy those who hear. Let your words be a guide to yourself as well as those around you. Let your words be as a skilled swordsman, direct and cleansing. May the words of our mouths be acceptable in His sight.

Change and Movement

Picture this: It was yesterday around 2:30 PM. I was sitting in my least favorite class of the semester. Women and Gender Studies. With a focus on The Individual, Sexuality, and the Family Unit. What it really translates to is a study of transgenderism, gays, women power, and an open mic for man haters.
One thing our professor had us do at the beginning of the semester was repeated yesterday. She had us write down our vision of the perfect community (or world) and what it needs. This time she added on two more questions at the end, what our motivation for fixing the needs of the world are, and also what keeps us from doing these things. Here is what I wrote.

My vision for the world: A world that recognizes the need for a Savior. That they need Jesus. The Love of the Father motivates me to act.
The needs of the world: Repentance and faith. The forgiveness of sins. The greatest source of suffereing is our own selfish, sinful natures.
My motivation for change: I know the Love of the LORD. I know it endures. I know that His words bring healing and conviction, forgiveness and grace. Knowing the LORD moves me to act.
What is stopping me: Sin. Fear of Man. Comfort. Selfishness. The feeling of being overwhelmed.

As I was thinking about what I wrote, I remembered that the same exact thing was written in the begining of the year. For what really is the point of change if it is not for the LORD? If we do things out of love for the Father, they will come out much better than if they are done out of selfish ambitions or altruism. The LORD is what changes and moves in the hearts of believers, and through believers God changes and moves the hearts of the lost.

Things I Enjoy-For Philip

Saturdays
Ice Cream
Icees
Sewing
Fresh Laundry
Brushing my teeth
Flowers
Music
Singing
Photography
Reading



CS Lewis
The Bible
The Sunrise
The Beach
Lake Tahoe
Snow
My Family
Kate
Shannon
Baking
Being Neat
Serving
Children
Loving Others
Stationery
Laughter



Shoes
Sweaters
Funny Sounds
Traveling
People Watching
Having a Garden
Writing
Praying
Knowing God
Redemption
Warm Socks
Driving in Silence
Cooking



Bike Rides
Train Stations
Airports
Myth Busters
My Roommates
Deep Conversations
Seeing God in Others
Mail
Naps
Opposed Thumbs
Being Creative
Costa Rica



Thinking about moving to Denver
Teaching
English
Tea
Coffee
Cakes
Cafes
Helping People
Frebreeze
Frisbee
Hot Chocolate
Talking of God
Hiking
the Guitar




Dancing
Fixing Things
Being Outside
Being by Myself
Being with People
Dogs
Ice Water
Recycling
Nalgene Bottles
Smelly Soaps
Long Shadows
Bread
Boy Bands
Nutella
Tea Cups
Grits
Good Books
Rainy Days
Movie Marathons
Crisp Mornings
Clean Houses
Impressionism
Simple Practical Theology
Feeding People




Singing Songs Really Loud
Big Cities
Watching Jen Watch Football
Costco
Pea Coats
Old Songs

Ask Your Barista for Details

As I am sitting in Starbucks with a pumpkin spice latte attempting to edit an essay, I look up from my computer and see the following words: “Today’s Song Is: Ask Your Barista for Details.”
This seems peculiar to me. If they have the “Today’s Song” sign, why would they not change it to actually read what the song of the day was? Why should I bother myself with asking someone if I have the possibility of having no interaction with humans and just looking on a board?
Sometimes I feel like this is the way I treat God. “Alright God, what will the blessing of the day be?” Well, Tam, you gotta ask him to find out. Not that God necessarily blesses us every day with some big, profound, life-changing thing, but could it be something as simple as the voice of a mockingbird, a good laugh with a friend, an opportunity to serve? Is it not even a blessing to breathe or to see a sunset? To feel the wind in your face and touch the leaves fallen to the ground?
I encourage you, Dear Reader, to seek God in the little things. Feel free to ask your barista for the details. Its quite helpful.

This is my favorite Barista.

What Do You Get When You Squeeze a Christian?

I know I've only been alive for the past twenty years, but I believe that I've learned a few things in my day. I can fix a hole in a pair of jeans, as well as sew on any type of button that has fallen off. I've learned the difference between immigration and emigration, as well as learning how to write papers under high stress and within a short period of time. But one of the more important things I've learned has not been from a specific experience, a professor, or stress. It has been a long, long process, which I do not know if it has been completed yet. I've learned this simple yet profound truth: personal sin is not as personal as we believe it to be.

A man's struggle with pornography does not only affect him in the moment, but will also affect the way he views women. It has the possibility to even affect the way he views his wife, as well as create unreasonable expectations in their relationship. A wife who is continually lazy in her actions loses not only an opportunity to serve her family, but also misses out on being a blessing to them. Bitterness held inside does not only poison the one who holds it, but also disallows the other party to receive forgiveness and reconciliation.

In the book of Genesis, we are shown a prime example of "personal" sin. The account of Sodom and Gommorrah. The two larger cities were so evil as a whole that a holy and righteous God could not allow them to continue. Lot was the only man in the city to be found righteous, and he, along with two of his daughters, were spared.

What happens after this is key. The three of them run to a small town between the cities and the hills. They rest for a while, and continue their journey towards the caves. While in the caves, the daughters get their father intoxicated and sleep with him, in hopes of preserving the family line. Lot's sin of drunkenness as well as his daughter's sins in incest and sexual immorality added up to the birth of the Moabite and Ammonite nations. Why is this important? These two people groups were a thorn in Israel's side for generations.

Fast forwarding to modern-day and getting personal: my sharp tongue does not only reflect the inward state of my heart, but also hurts the person that my words were directed towards. This creates dissonance in the relationship, and will breed only insecurity and shallow conversations until reconciliation occurs. My pride in not admitting my sin only builds and builds until I have a breakdown and my world falls apart. All the while, the original sin continues to occur, and now I have the second of pride to deal with also.

Getting back to what I've learned: personal sin is never personal. It is like a chain that links one action to another. It is like a contagious cold that sneezes and infects everyone in the room. But thanks be to God, for His abounding Grace and Mercy. Lot's line of Moabites was redeemed through Ruth, who was the grandmother of King David. Jesus our Lord was from the line of David, and Savior of the world. I myself cannot claim anything so bold as that, but His grace still abounds with me. My tongue and pride are diminishing as God inside of me is increasing.

So what do you get when you squeeze a Christian? SIN! But then you get the sweetness of grace.

Kinko's Days

They are called Kinko's days. The term was coined by Michelle Silvashy, one of the former InterVarsity staff workers at SSU.

What they are is this: a day in which you have one thing on your mind when you wake up, and one thing on your mind the entire day. It was Kinko's for Meche. She had to make copies. The day goes along and you proceed to do what needs to be done. At the end of the day, you lie in bed waiting for sleep to overcome you, and it hits like a ton of bricks: you realize that you have spent an entire day without reading your Bible, doing a devotional, or even praying. You realize that Kinko's was the only thing on your mind.

For me, it was my essay. An eight page essay analyzing the Gothic Hero. I woke up early, ate breakfast, and had great aspirations for the day. As time went on, I welcomed seemingly small interruptions from my outlining process. I talked with friends as they were on lunch break, I took a nap, I finished watching Season Two of The Office. As I slipped in between my covers around 1:30 AM, I realized that I had lived yet another "Kinko's day."

How do I do it? I find it so easy to go along with my day, have good conversation, serve my roommates, and yet spend an entire day without the slightest though of my Creator.

I know that God is here. I know that even in the midst of my forgetfulness and rebellion that He loves me as I am. He is my constant companion, whether or not I choose to acknowledge Him.

But as I thought upon my seemingly unfortunate situation, I rejoiced in the fact that the LORD still meets me as I am. Even though I wander day to day, He still holds the lamp unto my feet, He still is the light unto my path. I need not to worry with what is going on outside in the darkness; I need to keep my sights on Him.

So in a way, these sorts of days always are helpful to me. They keep me humble. They are a constant reminder of my wonderful Maker.

A Perfect Night for Shark Fishing

I was sitting at my kitchen table with two of my roommates and a friend Victor. Vic got a call from our friend Luke. After the normal greeting, I heard Victor say, "Hey man, are you going now?"

"Are they going shark fishing?!?! Let me talk to that boy!" I grabbed the phone from Victor and asked the same question of Luke. The answer was yes. All I had to do was grab a sweater, put on some shoes, and walk over to their dorm. Victor and I went along with Luke and our friend Ambrose. We loaded up the car with fishing poles and bait, and headed out to Tiberon.

My thoughts were running wild with scenes one would see in a National Geographic documentary: water sloshing onto a dock, a large shark thrashing wildly to rid itself of its captors. Somehow I kept thinking that sharks would also emit some sort of screaming noise as they were being dragged from their watery home. But these fantastical visions were not the only thing I was thinking about. A couple of days earlier I had mentioned to my friend Jeff how I wanted to go shark fishing with Luke, and he discouraged the idea. He told me sternly, "Tam, that is illegal." I later asked my father, and he said as long as you did it off a dock it was fine. I never did check with anyone of authority or see the rules in writing, I simply trusted the word of my father.

On the way there, the four of us were recounting our fishing history. We found that Victor and I have never caught a fish before. We drove out to the bay, and followed the windy roads down to a beach I had never been to before. There were no lights around us, so we had to use our cell phones to see the road. I saw that I had a text message from Jeff. It read something like this: "Shark fishing is illegal without a fishing licence." What a killjoy! I pushed these words to the back of my mind and focused on bating the hooks.

The bay was beautiful, and the sky was even better. We saw a few shooting stars. Lights from across the water reflected brightly and made wonderful scenery. We could see the Richmond Bridge all lit up, as well as San Quenton. You just had to forget that it was a prison you were looking at.

Well, we sat there for an hour and a half. Nothing. Not one nibble. We had driven forty-five minutes, braved the cold wind, and touched nasty dead fish all for nothing. We were cold and it was about 12:10 AM. We decided to head back.

The boys dropped me off at my house and I walked inside. A few minutes later I noticed I had a missed call from Jeff. I figured that he had called only six minutes earlier, it would be okay to call him back. When he picked up, he asked how it went. I told him that nothing happened, and he said, "Good. I'm glad nothing happened."
To tell the honest truth, I was too. For most of the time, my conscience was going crazy. We were shark fishing, for sure. But I wasn't 100% sure that it was illegal without a licence, not to mention the fact that we did enter a state beach after the hours of operation. How were we going to explain that one? "Oh sorry Park Ranger, I didn't know that if the gate was locked I couldn't just walk around?"

In essence, Jeff told me what I needed to hear that night. I was not living above reproach and setting an example for my peers. I was making unwise decisions and putting my desire for adventure above my desire to do what was right.
all in all, what I had though to be a perfect night for shark fishing turned out to be very different. It was a perfect night to be reminded of how I am to live.

An Internal Dialouge on Prayer

I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I've heard the phrases, "God sure does answer prayer," or "My prayer seems to be unanswered at the moment," or even "Prayer? I've already tried that. Doesn't seem to work." Truly, has there been a single day in all of history in which prayers have gone unheard or unanswered? The answer resounds in my ears: NO!
Just because we may not get our prayers answered in the way we desire them to doesn't mean that the LORD does not listen. If he does not grant us something we desire it does not mean that our prayers have fallen on dead ears. Nay, it is the simple fact that God has exercised his power to say "No."
The book of Proverbs says "The LORD is far from the wicked, but he hears the prayer of the righteous." Christ told his followers that "Whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith." (Matthew 21:22) Whatever we ask for! Can you imagine? But wait, there is a catch. We must have faith to receive. We must truly believe that the LORD is able to give us what we ask of him.
Sometimes the LORD does not answer with a simple yes or no, rather he tests our trust of him by saying, "Wait on it." The Psalmist writes Psalm 130 with the words, "I wait for the LORD, my soul waits and in His word I hope; my would waits for the LORD more than the watchmen for the morning, more than the watchmen for the morning." Do I truly know what this type of anxious waiting is like? Have I ever experienced such a test of faith? Have I waited upon the LORD more than the watchmen waits for the morning? What patience that requires, what utter trust!
But truly, why would I have reason to not trust the LORD? He is my Creator, He knows all things, He sees past, present, and future. Do I even doubt that in all His Goodness He will not do what is best for me?
The LORD knows what is best for me, and better yet, he loves me. If he says no to a selfish prayer from an impure heart, I should be thankful that He knows me. If He tells me to trust in Him and wait, I will do so. And if He grants my request, I will sing his praises to the nations.

Men, Which Number Are You?

So I found this and I just HAD to post it. Laugh yourself out of the chair please!


This is Kate and I (as you can clearly see through the Hello Kitty lunchboxes).

Top 15 Biblical Ways to Acquire a Wife

1. Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she's yours. - (Deuteronomy 21:11-13)

2. Find a prostitute and marry her. - (Hosea 1:1-3)

3. Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock - Moses (Exodus 2:16-21)

4. Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal. - Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10)

5. Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife. - Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25)

6. Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost you. - Adam (Genesis 2:19-24)

7. Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That's right. Fourteen years of hard labor for a wife. - Jacob (Genesis 29:15-30)

8. Cut 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law's enemies and get his daughter for a wife. - David (I Samuel 18:27)

9. Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you'll definitely find someone. (It's all relative, of course.) - Cain (Genesis 4:16-17)

10. Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest. - Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4)

11. When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I have seen a ... woman; now get her for me." If your parents question your decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one for me." - Samson (Judges 14:1-3)

12. Kill any husband and take HIS wife (Prepare to lose four sons, though). - David (2 Samuel 11)

13. Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It's not just a good idea; it's the law.) - Onan and Boaz (Deuteronomy or Leviticus, example in Ruth)

14. Don't be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity. - Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-3)

15. A wife?...NOT! - Paul (1 Corinthians 7:32-35)

Being Broken

Near the end of the semester I attended a campus event called Take Back the Night. It was a sexual assault awareness night, where anyone could go up and talk about what had happened to them. It was an open mic for sorrows.
Near the end, a young woman from the row in front of me stood up and walked to the front. As she turned around to face the crowd, you would see the animal-like rage that was in her heart. She was angry at the world, angry at herself, angry at the men who had mistreated her. She told us on three separate accounts in which she was abused and let herself be abused. After the last story, she cried aloud through her tears, "I'm so tired of being broken. I just want to be fixed!"
This event was the most depressing thing I've ever been to. Women would talk about their assault in front of 300 strangers, but they would not confide in a friend. They would swear by their counselors and psychologists, and all the while still proclaiming their brokenness. What they need is not psychotherapy or an "outlet" to pour their anger and hurt into, they need God.
Psalm 5:17 says, "The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." These women were broken. They were broken past the point of all healing unless it came from the Father. I think what saddened me the most is that many of them would reject this fact. Counselors and psychologists can only go so far. They cannot pierce the soul. The healing that they bring is only a temporary fix for an eternal problem.
This sends me to reflect on my own life and sinful nature. How often have I done the same, turning away from the God who loves me? How often do I feel with the author of the hymn as he cries, "Prone to wander, Lord I feel it, Prone to leave the God I love!" How far I wander off the narrow and straight. It is only when we eat a large portion of the humble pic and admit that we were wrong that peace and growth can flow from the broken ground. It is only when we admit that Christ is Lord that true everlasting healing will come.